We have all heard it "What did you get me?", "I want that", "Wheres our treat?". It should grate upon our nerves but more often then not we simply give into these demands and reward the attitude of entitlement that seems to prevail among our children.
So I now pose this question. Do we give into the demands of our children to justify our own failure to be grateful? Let me clarify right now I am not hear to preach, I am here to confess.
For the last several months I have been taking care of a sweet, kind, lovely, little girl, three days a week. When she first came to us, she was very well mannered, and polite, but recently it has come to my notice that she has started to be more demanding, and unappreciative, at first I was surprised, knowing that the family she comes from would not allow that in their own home, and therefore was firm in demanding please and thank-yous. In doing this I began to relies that my own children were extremely lacking in minding their P's and Q's and it came to my mind that the reason this well mannered child I watch was becoming ungrateful, was perhaps due to my lack of consistency towards my offspring. Baring this in mind, I started watching myself and began understanding the ways in which I perpetuate ill manners in my kids. I began to listen for these words of gratitude, and was surprised at the many times I had to push them to remember to be polite. But beyond this I have discovered that an attitude of thankfulness is also wanting in myself.
Where does this all lead? Well to be quite frank, I don't really know yet. Right now I am in hopes that just being aware of the situation will help me to parent more responsibly but, how do I teach my little blessings that things, and stuff will not make them happy when, I myself am constantly wanting more? How do I give them gifts and have them conclued it is out of my love for them, not because they are necessarily entitled to said gift when I stuggle with giving thanks to God for all the much greater gifts he has bestowed on me? What will my children think of my loftly beliefs, when placed along side the hypocrisy of my heart, and inconsistency of my witness? I gather these are fairly deep thoughts for a wednesday afternoon, but I suppose that for right now the answer lay in seeking after the the solution, and the resolution to do better is enough if followed by action.
These are deep thoughts, but important ones to address. You've done something right- you've confronted the problem, not just in them, but within yourself. The best example we can be to our children is to model the behaviour we want to see in them. Perhaps it would be an idea to do your own 'study' on Christ and how he modelled thankfulness and gratitude in his life here on Earth. That may just be the catalyst to reforming your own heart after him, and therefore impressing it on your kids? It's one suggestion- take it or leave it at your will. On a side note: I very much appreciate your honesty (as I'm sure many do) and would expect nothing less of you. Your heart is real. May our God bless you as you continue to strive after Him and His ways.
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